The Illusion of Permanence
by mystery muffin
Summary: From the moment of his sorting Regulus Black embarks on a drastically different path from his brother. This inevitably impacts upon their relationship and alters the world forever.


Regulus had always felt it should snow during the weeks coming up to Christmas but this year, once again he had been cheated. A cold wind struck through the air turning his cheeks a vivid red. The drop in temperatures would have been welcomed if it was the price to pay for pure white drops of ice tickling his nose and yet all he was gifted with amounted to a thin coating of frost across the garden steps. That was no consolation at all for snow angels and snowmen. He tugged his cloak tightly across his shoulders and continued his impatient pacing across the lawn. The grass beneath his feet crunched with each forceful step and the young Black found the noise quite satisfying.

He hadn't liked being left behind much but there was no arguing with Mother. He was to wait at home and they would all see him later. It felt as though he had been waiting for months now and in a sense this was true. Ever since Sirius had abandoned him in favour of Hogwarts, Regulus had been counting down the days until Christmas. It was no fun at all being cooped up in the family home alone. Regulus was expected to spend his time wisely; reading, learning and obeying his parents as they prepared him for his first proper public outing in society without them to guide him through it. They made attending Hogwarts sound like a challenge that paved the way for his eventual entrance into manhood. Although, they had not explicitly told him so, even Regulus was not dim enough to miss the frantic air in their attempts to condition him.

Things with Sirius had not gone to plan- everyone was aware of this. Regulus's parents had argued often enough back in September- over whose fault it all was- for the boy to pick up on the overwhelming feelings of disappointment now being directed towards Sirius. Although, his brother had always enjoyed testing the limits of others (regardless of whether they were his parents, sibling, cousins or a lowly house elf) never before had something revolving around him caused such mayhem. Previously, there had been no real question of which house the Black Heir would be apart of. No one would have even considered betting on anything but Slytherin. Regulus now realised they shouldn't have been so confident. Sirius did love to surprise and surprise he had.

This however, was not why Regulus was desperate to see his brother and dreading the inevitable meeting at the same time. Rather, it was the fact that apart from a few hurried letters In September and early October, Sirius had not spared his younger sibling a second thought. Regulus had given up on receiving any correspondence following Halloween. The silence had left him utterly isolated with no one to talk to apart from the other children his parents deemed 'pure' enough. It wasn't that Regulus disliked the other elite wizarding children, they were just in an unfair position. No one could compete with the relentless string of energy and enthusiasm that was Sirius Black. Put simply, Regulus was use to a certain degree of excitement in the form of his companions and the playmates he was obliged to spend time with proved to be terribly dull. They lacked a sense of rebellion which would prevent each day blurring together with the next one and the one following that.

Perhaps, things would not be so dreary had Regulus been more like his brother in personality. He had never initiated the acts of adventure and so couldn't bring himself to go about doing so now. Truthfully, it hardly mattered that he did not attempt such things, Regulus was neither confident nor charismatic enough to convince the others to play along. Not in the way Sirius could. All he had to do was smile and open his mouth- then everyone stopped, listened and followed like well trained dogs. He had what Narcissa once called, _'a quality'_. On reflection it should have been no surprise that Sirius eventually fitted into the Gryffindor house with little bother. For it was once his initial loneliness passed and he began to bond with the other boys in his year that Regulus stopped hearing from Sirius. It had stung more than Regulus would ever admit. Despite their disagreements and frequent scuffles he had foolishly believed they were close. At least close enough to remain in contact. Even if Sirius was not normally the type to sit down and throw together a letter he should have been willing (_should have wanted to_) keep in touch.

Failing to walk off his nerves, Regulus returned to the house and shook off his winter cloak. He had not been sitting in thought by the fire for too long when he heard a click, and the sound of the front door swinging open. Pushing aside any doubts or misgivings Regulus bounced to his feet and abandoning the comfortable arm chair slid into the hallway. His Mother strode past him, her breath coming out in heavy puffs. She uttered no greeting or made any sign that she noticed his presence at all. It was then easy to assume that Sirius and she had disagreed on something. He was only glad to have missed the shouting match which was sure to have taken place between the two. Each had a fierce temper and a stubbornness that was close to faulty. There was one particularly vivid memory of a young Sirius hurtling fistfuls of mud in his Mother's direction whilst she built up such a fury the sleeve of her robe caught fire. Regulus did not recall why the tantrum had originated and could see only the effects within his mind. Clashes had long since been deemed impossible to avoid.

There was a sudden bang, and caught unaware Regulus snapped his head to the left. There he found Sirius, trunk held in one hand as he tried to drag it along the wooden floor, making quite a noise as he did so. He did not surge forward to greet Regulus nor did he cheerily send a, _"Hello!"_ his brother's way. Frowning, Regulus decided that he must not have noticed his sibling standing there. Tentatively, he took a few paces forward and cleared his throat, "Hello, Sirius. I'm glad you're back."

"Well I'm not," Sirius snapped without another word he let the trunk collapse to the ground and plonked himself on top of it.

Sensing the hurt flickering across Regulus's face he sighed and then relented, "Merlin, I-I didn't mean it like _that._ Really, Regulus I didn't. I'm glad to see you. It's them I can't stand, Mother already had a go at me down at the station. Right in front of all my friends too! Called them all sorts of names, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die... It was mortifying."

The rosy tinge to Sirius's face was not a result of the weather after all. Regulus didn't know what to say. He was relieved Sirius didn't mind seeing him but the insult to their parents did not sit well with him. It was one thing to become occasionally irritated by your parents but you didn't go against them. Regulus knew what names his Mother had tossed about to insult Sirius's supposed 'friends' so much. For weeks she had been muttering about how 'that lot' in Gryffindor were likely to be brainwashing her son. He sat down beside his brother and shrugging finally said, "Maybe she's right...You don't need filthy Mudbloods and Blood Traitors ruining your reputation."

He had taken the words almost directly from his Mother's mouth. Immediately after speaking he realised he had said the wrong thing. Sirius had gone quite. His teeth were clenched and at some point he had drawn his wand. It was pointed threateningly at Regulus's throat. He let out a gasp of surprise.

"Don't. Don't you ever-not ever- say those words to me again," Sirius's words were whispered but his tone suggested breaking this new rule would result in further consequences.

The sensible corner of Regulus's mind told him Sirius couldn't do magic outside school, wouldn't even know any dangerous spells even if he could and he'd never dream of harming his own brother. But the panic had set in and spread like fiendfyre so that all he could do was nod fearfully. Sirius released him, the anger that had come upon him so suddenly evaporating.

Shakily, Regulus got to his feet and shot a glare at his brother, who remained frozen on the trunk. He didn't wait for an apology, an explanation or another chance for Sirius to dive forward and get him in an arm-lock. Instead Regulus flung himself towards the staircase, slamming his feet against the carpeted surface with all his might as he climbed each step, before eventually reaching his safe haven. With more force than necessary he closed his bedroom door behind him and slid down onto the floor. Aware of his crumbling self-restraint, he stuffed his fist in his mouth in an attempt to fight off tearful whimpers. To think he had waited so long for nothing at all. His Sirius had gone and wasn't coming back. Although the Sirius in the hallway bared many resemblances to his own, the new Sirius didn't care about Regulus anymore. His parents had been right all along and now life was going to change. The second Sirius Black boarded the Hogwarts Express on the first of September everything had been altered forever.

**A/N: Hey, you got to the end of the first chapter! I feel the need to thank you for that now. So thanks! I haven't written any fanfiction in a while, so I'm a little nervous about this. Therefore all constructive criticism is valued and if anyone is lovely enough to review I promise to respond as promptly as possible. **

**MM **


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